Burnout

a dead guy asked God for one last day on earth to see and be with his girl... God granted the wish but too bad God also granted his girl's wish: to die for a day to see and be with him... one last time

The day I received this text message... it struck me so hard that even if I just woke up... I cried. I know the sender of the message didn't mean to send it, because she had no idea whatsoever about my situation and all. But just to give her a hint, I told her that I wish God can grant such wishes sometimes...

At this age of 22, I feel like I'm tired of life already. I feel like I've seen it all and I've done it all. I'm done with all the negativity in life. I'm burnt out. My best friend says I experienced too much too soon... and I couldn't agree more.

It's not that I'm being ungrateful of the life that was given to me... of course I'm thankful that my heart's still beating but with the way things are going, I'm not exactly sure I'd be able to survive long enough. It's just so freakin' hard. I've tried my very best... and I AM still trying... but it's really not helping that much... I've tried all approaches I know and I'm currently running out of ideas... I don't really know what to do anymore. Friends are a great help, but they can only take you so far. When I'm alone, I've to rely on myself. The rest is still really up to me. It appears I'm not really good with helping myself. I can help other people, but I can't help myself. I feel like I'm slowly letting myself down.

I sometimes feel like my blog really sucks (as what Jeff said on my tagboard). Another said it's too heavy. Too depressing to read. It's such a sorry blog. A great depiction of my sorry self. Maybe I should rename this as "The Great Depression" or something. Okay, enough already...