Too Much, Too Soon...

Last week has been the most interesting week I've had this year...

The ninth of October marked our fifth month together. Never did i thought that it would also mark the end of a relationship that I thought would work out fine. One revelation from someone I never knew existed in his life. He did one mistake and one mistake was all it took. One irrevocable mistake and my world crumbled into pieces. One mistake that shattered all our dreams. I was deeply and immensely hurt and I have no choice but to deal with the pain...

While in the course of dealing with the pain over five bottles of beer, another revelation had me shed another bucket of tears. It has something to do with someone in the past. Someone that no longer lives in the present, except in my heart. One of my closest friends revealed that they had spoken one night. He was told that he had plans for me. Plans for our future together. He said he was going to start saving for the future that I have always dreamed about. Again, it was painful to know. It hurts to realize that it was a future we will never have, now that he's gone. I could have been the happiest person in the world, but instead I'm this. Broken. Shattered. Lost. Miserable.

My head has been floating around for over a week now... and I don't think it will come around any time soon. My body feels so heavy and my head so light. Right now, I don't think it is possible for me to feel whole again any time soon... I'm not even sure, if I'll ever feel whole again... everything just seems to be too much for me to handle... it's all too much, too soon...