Year-Ender Post 2006

It's almost the end of the year and since I'll be spending New Year's Eve in our house in Tagaytay and I am fully booked for tomorrow, now will be the perfect time to wrap up the whole year into another measly year-ender post... But before I start, let's travel back in time and take a quick look at my previous year ender posts:

Year-Ender Post 2004

"The year is closing to an end... and I just couldn't help getting all emotional about it... I just wasted another year of my life. I did nothing in this year that I should be proud of. All I did was to make all the wrong decisions and deal with its endless consequences. Honestly speaking, I'm tired of taking the same bull* everyday... for a year! But I've no one else to blame but me (and that's the saddest part of all!) I know, this may seem like another one of my bitter entries, but it's really the only way I could get by. Or else, I'd go crazy. Besides, it's not like I forced you to read this, right? But anyway, I hope the year ahead will be much better than this one. I'm gonna wipe the slate clean and start all over again. Try to straighten up my crooked life. Wish it was that easy to do."

Year-Ender Post 2005

"I would have really wanted to sum up the year with a really long year-ender post... recounting the events that happened, lessons learned, people met, people lost, etc. And then write another really long year-starter post... about hope for tomorrow, new years resolution, plans, dreams, wishes, etc.... but my enthusiasm to write sort of vanished... so I'll just roll them up in one really short post.

It wasn't really much of a good year... That's it! Year-ender post, summed up in one sentence!

And as for my Year-starter post... given the fact that it wasn't really much of a good year... and so why in the world would I think that this year would be any different?!?!?"

In my opinion, on Year Ender Post 2004, I sounded pathetic... while on Year Ender Post 2005, I sounded drunk... made me think how will I sound this year... so to prevent history from repeating itself, let me start off by asking the right questions to myself: What are the major things that happened on my 23rd year on earth? Did I even learn a freakin' thing out of it? Did I somehow manage to make more friends than enemies this year? Did I even do anything to be proud of? Overall, how did the year 2006 went for me?

The year started with me being sort of promoted to level three work, which consequently made me earn a bit more than last year. It was a whole new experience for me and I did learn a lot from it. It was rewarding at first, until later this year, it got kinda old. Early on the year, I was able to buy a new phone and left my old one with a heavy heart. I was on blog-leave for a while. I had a great four-day long birthday celebration. I had a loser-y summer and was only able to go to Galera. I turned into a Prison Break and Grey's Anatomy fan. I had an urge to buy PSP mid-year and only decided to get one before the year came to a close. Of course, I made a bunch of mistakes, always, one after the other. And as expected, I got all dramatic about it. I met someone who made me happy for a while and then let's not talk about that... Got rid of my braces and moved on to retainers. I miss bubu once in a while (still do). I finally got rid of my Globe plan which I had for three or four years. So I went back to the number I had for 8 years. I had a really bad hair cut but got it fixed in no time but with lots of money. I got really ill for a full week or so. My personal space started to be invaded by complete strangers. I got accused of something I'm not or I never did or I'm not to be blamed about. I started my snowglobe collection with a little help from my friends. I made a lot of friends, but I honestly never considered anyone an enemy. I've always been understanding and I know how to see beyond the actions. I may question people for what they do, but I never blame them for it.

Most important thing that happened this year? I have learned. To be strong. To trust no one but myself. To never explain to anyone. To stop being kind to everyone except to those who deserve it. To be wise and not stupid or blinded by anything. To stop deceiving myself. To live up to my own decisions. To enjoy life. To live the life I wanted.

Honestly, I learned a lot this year. Most of them are important things in life. I feel really lucky to have survived this year. I am lucky that I was able to get out of a really ugly situation without a bruise, while others had no choice but to live with it and be content with hearing lies. I know better than to live a life full of lies. I am happy to know the things I know and be able to do the things that I want to do. Life is good. I think I'm all set for 2007. Bring it on.

No Explanations

Who would have thought that someone really close to you could betray you for something so trivial and then cause such negative effect in your life... and that person couldn't have chosen a more perfect time to do it. A few days before Christmas is just about right. That person thinks her actions won't hurt anyone, but what she didn't know was that it had a ripple effect. People that that person don't even know personally has already been gravely affected... of course, mine sustained most of the damage.

Consequently, it pushed me into a corner... and so I have no other choice but to sacrifice the things that I've held on to for so long. I guess its the only way to shut them all out. I came to a point where I've let other people take control of me. I've basically been bound and gagged. Now, I want to be free. I'm just tired of it all and I wanna be left alone for once in my life. To be away from disapproving stares, hushed whispers and judgmental thinking that I know I don't deserve. And finally, to stop being the cause of such drama.

But enough of that crap, I won't explain anything to anyone for two reasons. My true friends won't need it and the rest won't believe it anyway. So if I say it's not true, I don't need to explain it nor do I need to convince you to believe it. Take it or leave it. The conversation begins and ends there. Choose your side.

After this storm, I will have learned to live by these words: "It doesnt matter what other people think or say... you don't live to please them... what matters is, you've made the most of what you have, you had fun, you learned from what you've done and you've lived thru it all despite the gossips and intrigues. That's being real... just live a life fearless of other people's shadow..."

Confused? So am I. But like I said, I don't owe anyone explanations... I'm just letting the demons out before the new year comes...

Guess Who Stole Christmas?

Each year, it's starting to become a tradition to be visited by a Grinch who never fails to ruin my Christmas... Of course, I don't want to post something so negative on a day that's supposed to be merry and bright so I wrote this in my journal first before I actually posted this, just to let the inner demons out.

This year, the Grinch was someone I least expect him to be. The person created such stir and such chaos that it affected other people as well. The fire widely spread itself uncontrollably and caused irreparable damage. I feel sorry for the people who got affected by it. But mostly, I feel sorry for myself that I wasn't able to contain it before it went too far. Now is just a tad too late.

I'm at the end of my rope. It has happened far too many times that if it ever happened again, I'll be at my wits' end. So to end it, I got to make myself less and less visible, until they don't see me at all anymore...

Greetings!

Whatever is good and kind -
whatever is true and real and kind.
Whatever spins and moves us
and sparkles in the world and shines...
Whatever is fine and honest and certain as friendship...
Whatever is good...
We honor these things in our hearts...
and celebrate their light at Christmas time.

Attention: Gift-Givers

Okay! I already got early Christmas gifts! 2 snow globes from early birds! (Pun intended. Hahah) You know who you guys are. Thanks a lot! It means a lot to me. Somehow it proves that this blog still has a use... Hahaha.

So anyway, since I don't think everyone has enough time to find really really cute snow globes and not much is available in the market. Being the understanding person I am, I decided to widen up your choices a bit . I came up with a list of other stuff you can give as alternative. It's not that I'm imposing, but... okay, I probably am! So aside from snow globes, the following gifts will also be very much appreciated:

1. Games for my PSP - it does not need to be the original UMD, unless you own Datablitz or something. I can make do with ISO files. Save it in a disc or wherever.

2. Memory Stick Duo 2GB or more (still for my PSP) - of course, more storage space, the better.

3. PSP Accessories - to pimp my PSP. Okay, enough of PSP stuff...

4. LeSportsac or Nike Hand or Tote Bag - not the small one, but not too big either. Just make sure that my Starbucks planner and Coke Light journal and kikay kit will fit just right. You can expect it to be heavy, so make sure it's sturdy... hehehe.

5. DVD Burner - I'm running out of space to place CDs that can only hold 2 episodes a piece. Of course, if you can give me a DVD burner, why don't you throw in some DVD-Rs as well. You know, just for the heck of it. Hehehe.

6. Lotsa Post-It's - I already said on my previous post how much I love paper so I don't need to explain further...

7. Bath and Body Works Lotion - I can't live without lotion but I'd like to try another scent and steer away from Cucumber Melon for a while. Maybe Apple or cotton something or Lemongrass Sage. I didn't like Body Shop's Lotion that much because settling easily occurs especially when you leave it at below room temperature.

Hmmm... I think I ran out of ideas... But don't fret, I'll keep adding more to the list as soon as I think of something... I'll stop at 10 and I'll think of less expensive ones for cheapskates... hehehe...

Starbucks Planner Part Two

HAH! I have completed yet another Starbucks sticker card... just two weeks after I finished my first one! Of course, I don't need two planners... and I'm feeling mighty generous this season of giving so I'm going to give it away. Sorry, it's not up for grabs, this one already has an owner, and so will the next one I'm getting after this. I sort of already promised them that I'll get them a planner. Maybe after that, I can raffle it off or something... Let's see how many planners I can get... and how much hard-earned money I can waste on coffee! Hahaha...