I just started wondering, why won't things just turn out the way you want it to be? Why do things have to seem so unfair on your side? I know they say that you should accept whatever comes to you... and I am accepting it, and sometimes I'm even thankful for it, however, it sometimes feels like I'm swallowing a bitter pill. Sometimes it's really hard to accept the downside of things. I can say I'm happy now and contented with life, but not totally. I know things could always be better. There are things that I wish would happen, although I'm not sure it will... I take the risk anyway, thinking that maybe things will turn out fine in the future. But you can't discount the possibility of things turning out NOT fine. Then, I'll be back to square 1 (even negative 1 if possible). I hate the fact that there are things in life you just can't take control of. Like how other people think or react, especially how other people feel about you. There will always be a risk. There's always a catch to happiness. You can't be happy without feeling sad. Well, its a matter of choice actually. You can't win if you don't fight. I know it might look like I'm fighting a losing battle, but I will regret if I don't fight for it. I'd rather take the risk, than wonder all my life thinking 'what if' and telling myself 'if only'. I know it's a battle I won't regret fighting for and I know all the wounds I will incur will all be worth it in the end. Or so I hope.
* Weird, I started this post with a completely different thought in mind, I've no idea how it came to be what it is now... must be my unconscious mind thinking aloud.
*I know you may not have the slightest idea of what I'm talking about, but maybe some other people will.. who knows?! ;P "when you love someone, you have to fight for it, that was why i was willing to fight for you... to make you realize how much you mean to me. but when i saw the look in your eyes whenever she's around... i know i already lost even before the fight began..."
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