It's Daniel's birthday today! His 28th on the 27th... Time flies by real fast... before we even know it, we're celebrating his birthday. And in a few days, his 6th month...
I was supposed to schedule a mass for him, but was unable to do so. Time constraints. Most of the masses on weekdays are scheduled in the evening so it automatically means we won't be able to attend because we'll all be asleep around that time. But we all offered our prayers to him, that's for sure. Most of us will probably offer the Sunday mass to him.
Anyway, my mom and I bought him flowers yesterday. I chose white roses this time. I don't know, I just feel like giving him a bunch of white roses. I had to carry it from the office to the MRT station (where the guards are curiously eyeing what I'm carrying around on an ultra big plastic bag) and I couldn't tote it around with stretched arms or it will touch the ground, so I have to slightly bend my elbows which put strain on my underdeveloped biceps. I was worried that by the time I get there, it will look parched or even dead. But thankfully, it was still alive and breathing when I got to his place.
It was such a bad time for my cellphone to run out of battery... so I just emailed Yannie as soon as I left the office. I fetched her at her workplace (the guy at the frontdesk referred to me as "the girl with the big plastic bag") and then we picked up his framed jersey at her place. We got a little stuck in traffic on our way there and we made it barely in time to meet his family who's just about to leave. I think it was the first time I saw more than one visiting person there, because I usually go alone or sometimes, with a friend. Ate Danette, Deck, Tito Dan, Ate Kim, Kuya Zasam and Tonito were there. It was nice to see them all over again. It sort of made me feel like he's still around. Just there... just around... watching us...
And he did sort of let us know he's just around...
You see, Cj gave him a stick of cig as a birthday gift. It was untouched when we left. But then a few minutes after we left, Faye (Daniel's cousin) arrived. When she got there, the cig was not lit. Then it started to drizzle so she went for cover. When she got back, surprisingly enough, the cig was already burnt halfway. Her account was that it was not that near the candle nor the flame for it to burn. Weird! If it was really him who did that, I'm gonna scold him... for still trying to smoke! Hahaha! Just kidding! Well, I told him I'll even give him a bottle of beer...
if he asks for it...
PERSONALLY!
We all super duper miss him... I know I do. Everytime there's any work-related celebration, any event or just about any occasion... I always imagine what it would be like if he was still here. I still enjoy talking about him. It sort of keeps the memories alive. I just wish he would visit me in my dreams more often, everyday if possible (demanding?! Hehehe). Because I think it's the only way I can REALLY get by. I thought I could actually get over him but I realized I was wrong to think that way. Six months is still too soon. It seems like I'll just have to live with it... and accept the fact that I'll never get over him for real. So, whoever I'm gonna be with in the future also has to accept that fact. It just can't be taken away. It's already part of who I am...
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