To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine

I make mistakes, I am, after all, human. This is never my excuse for making mistakes. I have no excuse for the mistakes I've done. I just know that they are things I've done or let happen that I've regret time and time again and they will continue to haunt me. But there's no way I can take them back.

I can't even explain myself or more so, defend myself. I do not honestly know why or how it happens, I don't even understand myself anymore. I know this also happens to other people and I've learned to understand them and forgive them for whatever harm they've done or caused. I don't expect that other people would treat me the same way, but I understand them just the same. To err is human, to forgive divine. It's not my way to burn bridges. I treasure every friendship I make. I am thankful for every friendship I get to keep. I get all the help from them, it's just me who cannot seem to know how to help myself. That is where the problem begins.

I know I cannot do anything about what other people say or think about me. I'm afraid I cannot defend or explain myself any longer. Honestly speaking, I don't even know what to say to them anymore. I'm not pleading guilty, but I'll surrender to whatever their verdict is. I'll just have to respect whatever their opinions are about me. Does not matter if they know the whole story or not, prejudice will always be present.

I found out that most of the time, no matter how hard it is for me... it's better to keep my silence. No matter how hard you try, at the back of their minds, they will always think you are what they think you are. Sometimes, they know you better than you know yourself.

I am sorry if I just don't live up to their expectations... I am sorry if I have disappointed them... I am sorry if it seemed like I don't give a slightest care to the world... I'm trying my best to live my life, and to tell you frankly, it's not the easiest thing to do and I was even so close to giving up... but I try to hang on, wishing that something or someone will be able to help me redeem myself from this unholy mess...