Does Such a Certain "Someone" Exist?

Last night, I watched "A Walk To Remember" at Wowow channel and it was really a great movie. Even though I have already seen it (and even read the book), I still get goosebumps while watching my favorite scenes (particularly the one where Landon was crying while hugging his father and the one where he proposed to Jamie). It was my very kind of movie (in other words, sappy?). It's like I could watch it over and over again and still feel like I'm watching it for the first time. Still enthusiastic and attentive all throughout the movie. After watching it.. it was 12am then.. it suddenly got me into thinking.. Would I rather lose the love of my life because of death (meaning I'd lose him forever) or to someone else? If you really look at it, it's almost the same. But after a lot of tossing and turning on my bed, I decided that I would rather lose him because of death, coz at least all i would think about are the great memories we've had and that is all. The pain of losing him would be alleviated by how much we loved each other while he lived. Unlike when I lose him to someone else... when that happens.. I think I'd rather die.. than live with the pain forever.. thinking how happy he is with somebody else. I mean.. OOOOUUUUCCCCHHHHH! It's like lifetime torture! But what could I do if that happens? (that is, if it hasn't happened already) I mean, I won't actually kill myself for that.. I might be crazy, but not THAT crazy. I guess, there's nothing else to do.. but bear that cross for the rest of your life (that's what you get for loving too much!) OR maybe, there would come a time wherein someone would just simply take all those pains away and bring you the happiness you have been looking for.. but then you start to wonder.. does such a certain "SOMEONE" exist? or is it just like Santa Claus who just keeps your hopes up..