"THE" Reply

I was actually expecting a longer reply to my email, but I guess I didn't leave much for you to reply on... there's really not much to say...

I guess we did agree on most parts, however, I know you wish that my answer was based on the negativity that you were more or less showing. But then, I think it was better to base it on what is really there to begin with and not on what is lacking. I was real honest with my reasons because I think you deserve to know the truth. I am sorry if the truth has scarred you. You know it was really not my intention.

Also, you don't have to blame yourself, as you have said it, maybe the pressure around us was partly to blame so it was really not mainly your fault. There are some situations where we are not in control of. Some things are really bound to happen, I guess. As what I kept telling you, it is better to take the risk than to wonder all your life "what if" and telling yourself "if only" (seems like I should make this my motto coz I have sooo often used this line). At least, somehow, you found your peace.

I'm also sorry if I gave you any false expectations. I'm sorry if I seemed so cruel by not telling you right away. But you know how I'm not used to turning people down. You know how hard it is for me to be upfront with my answer, no matter what the circumstance is, especially when the answer is "no". The nearest answer I can give to a "no", is a "maybe" or a "why not". I am just not that good with negativity. I wasn't built that way.

At least, there's still something good that came out of this situation. I mean, at least, the friendship was still saved somehow. If anything, I think it made the friendship even stronger (although there was a time when we kept on arguing and it seemed that the friendship was on the brink of falling apart but then, things changed for the better). A lot better than what we have expected it to turn out. Like I told you, things will straighten themselves out eventually.

For what it's worth, thank you for understanding the situation I am in and for all the things you have done. I am sure you'll eventually find the happiness you truly deserved. I may still be on the way to recovery... and God only knows when I will finally have the strength to live again... but somehow, it's reassuring to know that you're still there in spite of everything...