All Questions, No Answers

How can anyone really understand me when I don't even understand myself. How can anyone know me if I don't even seem to know myself. Why can I not respond normally to situations that require me to take criticisms constructively? Why do I always desire to make myself miserable every single time I get hit with a stone? Why do I like wallowing in misery? Why do I keep pushing away people whom I love? Could it be a curse? How will I ever learn? I guess I never will.