my way of putting myself to sleep mode

I Know Him By Heart

There's a secret path I follow
To a place no one can find
Where I meet my perfect someone
I've kept hidden in my mind
Where my heart makes my decisions
'Till my dream becomes a vision
And the love I feel
Makes him real someday

Cause I know he's out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I've never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak
Though we've never been together
We've never been apart
No we've never met
Haven't found him yet
But I know him by heart

Am I living an illusion?
Wanting something I can't see
If I compromise, I'd be living lies
Pretending love's not meant to be
Cause I know my heart's worth saving
And I know that he'll be waiting
So I'll hold on and I'll stay strong 'till then

Cause I know he's out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I've never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak
Though we've never been together
We've nerver been apart
No we've never met
Haven't found him yet
But I know him by heart

No we've never met
Haven't found him yet
But I know him by heart
No we've never met
Haven't found him yet
But I know him by heart

Yet another song for that certain someone...

Every night before I drift myself to sleep, I always have the same pattern of thoughts. As I lay on my bed, with my eyes still wide open, I think about a lot of stuff. About the past love and the might-have-beens. After that, I snap back to reality and suddenly realize how lonely I feel and start feeling bad for myself (read: bitter). Then convince myself that everything's for the best but end up thinking that everything's just plain unfair. Then start believing that a certain someone exist. Then I begin questioning that certain someone's existence. Then I get tired of thinking and decide to dream instead. At least, in my dreams, I can be happier. Every night, that pattern repeats itself perpetually without fail. It seems like I don't have any control of it. It just... happens. And everytime, I can almost hear my heart break. Speaking of which, I remember what kuya Abet texted me: From the book Mr.Write:"What happens when someone breaks your heart? First you're shocked. You're heartbroken and you examine the words break and heart and heartbroken. You decide it's inaccurate. You feel pain in the region of your heart and you think it's your heart breaking but one's heart doesn't really break, something else does --- faith." Well, it's gonna take a real lot of time and effort before that heals, if at all. Well, once a romantic, always a romantic whether in a relationship or not. Most romantics don't have relationships though, thus the term hopeless romantic... let's just hope I'm really not that hopeless..